7 suggestions to save your relationship

There is always hope if you really want to be happy in your marriage.

How do I save my relationship? I love him, well, not so much … The truth is I do not even know what I feel for him. We discuss everything and nothing. He already has me fed up. I believe in marriage, I want to save it, but … how? “

Does this scene sound like? Yes, it is true, when we bring problems in a marriage, we receive a lot of advice, such as that we want, that we endure, that we do not throw in the towel, that marriage can improve, but how do we do it ?!

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The only reality is that marriage is full of problems and we do not even know where to start saving it because, being honest, the abyss in which both of us have submerged the relationship is so deep that throwing in the towel is seen as the more straightforward way.

If this is your reality today is the time to change some attitudes and behaviours in your life. Only by courageously taking action can you transform this present to which little future you see in a true path to heaven. It is essential that you do not lose hope.

But how? I share some simple suggestions. Take them into account. They will serve you as a good start.

  1. Will: willingness to work for the relationship. The pretext is I cannot; the reason is I do not want to. You can feel very tired, very overwhelmed, but if you have the conviction to save it you will find the how. Remember that one who has a “why” will always find the “how”.  
  2. All change begins in the first person. I want, I decide, and I do it. As St. Augustine said: “Try to acquire the virtues that you think are lacking in your brothers, and you will not see the defects, because you will not have them.” Do not wait for the other to do something, do it yourself. Start by making changes yourself. Read good books to enrich yourself and be a better person and, therefore, a better spouse. I do not say perfect, just better every day.
  3. Do not focus only on your partner’s weaknesses. Recognise that you are not perfect either, so it is not fair to see the bad just in the other. Try to remember all the things you initially admired about him/her and also the good times you spent together.
  4. The differences between you should not be a threat , but opportunities to transform and enrich each other; they are complementary.
  5. Think positively. You do not have the power to change your partner, but you do have the power to change yourself. And with this personal changes something wonderful happens: change me and as if by magic, everything changes! The reality that hit me before is transformed.
  6. Be patient! Rome was not made in a year. Maybe in your marriage, you will live a stage where you have to go uphill, work against the current and all odds. Just do it without looking back and without letting yourself be carried away by fear thinking that it is a huge task impossible to achieve. Do not despair if you do not see changes in the form and time you expect. Everything will arrive at its time. These crises are experienced day by day.
  7. Prayer A marriage is saved on its knees, but God praying and with the mallet giving. The Grace of God reaches those places where human strength no longer reaches us.

Nothing can be done to change what has already happened, but much can be done to change what is coming. If you really want to be happy, if you are willing to take the helm of your relationship, if you are truly determined to save it there will always be a way out.